


False Moon

by SherlockWolf



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Game: Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, M/M, Platonic AkuRoku, Pre-Kingdom Hearts II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-20 23:55:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16565576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockWolf/pseuds/SherlockWolf
Summary: Axel just wants Roxas to come back. Being without his best friend hurts when it shouldn't. He's regrowing a heart, but is it worth it?





	False Moon

    Roxas had left. Left the Organization. Left Axel—alone.

    Axel understood why he needed to go. That didn’t mean he _wanted_ Roxas to go. Roxas had been his only friend in this hellscape, and without the three of them spending time away from here and relaxing, he was sure to go mad.

    Wait, three? Why did he think that? It had only ever been Roxas and himself. Maybe he was going mad already.

    It had only been a few hours.

    Axel pulled his knees closer to his chest and tilted his head against his bedframe, looking up at the false Kingdom Hearts which shone as bright red as ever. He hated that thing now.

    The first time he had heard about it—the real Kingdom Hearts—had been from Aeleus in hushed whispers at the bar Lea’s parents owned. Back then, he’d felt overwhelming curiosity about the fairytale. It had lead him to the discovery that the scientists within the castle were attempting to replicate the magical moon. The second time had been from Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, as he towered over two terrified teenagers who’d made a mistake they had yet to learn the true gravity of. The third had been from Xemnas promising a room of seven that his manufactured version of the moon would bring back their hearts.

    He’d claimed those hearts had been stolen from them by the Darkness in which they now inhabited, but Saïx and himself had grown suspicious of Xemnas and Xigbar. Now Axel knew it was a good thing they had even if Saïx seemed more and more swayed by their lies.

    Though he still didn’t know Xemnas’ true intentions, Roxas had helped shine light on the horrors of this Castle that Axel had failed to care about—ironic, considering that his connection to light was what Xemnas had been using the keyblade wielder for.

    Even after reminding himself that Roxas was safer away from these manipulative Nobodies, Axel wanted him back. The reason behind his need would have scared him, if he could feel it.

    Or, it did scare him. Because he _could_ feel it. Just a little.

    Roxas made him feel as though his heart was being rebuilt. It had taken some time for Axel to notice, but once he had he couldn’t ignore it. It had made separation from Roxas, even for brief daily missions, increasingly tortuous. The more time and distance between the two, the less Axel felt the reconstruction of his heart.

    He’d admitted to himself a while ago that he’d become addicted to Roxas’ presence for that reason. Roxas was more than his friend—he was his _lifeline_.

    Axel felt something hot on his cheek, and lifted a gloveless hand to feel a tear streak. His chest hurt so much, he hadn’t noticed his eyes watering. He wiped at both eyes in vain. Fresh tears sprung. He let them fall.

    He needed a plan. Something that would protect Roxas. No, better. Save him.

    But his plan couldn’t involve leaving the Organization. He couldn’t run away, couldn’t abandon what Roxas had—his best friend.

    Except…maybe he could. Saïx was so _different,_ so full of malice and ill intent. At times Axel had hoped that Roxas’ presence in the castle was having the same effect on Saïx—rebuilding the heart that had once been so loving and kind. But Axel couldn’t trust him anymore, not after his sour treatment of Roxas, not after his orders to kill…who? Why couldn’t Axel remember who Saïx had ordered him to bring back dead or alive? Certainly not Marluxia.

    Even still, the thought of abandoning Saïx here, without Axel to keep an eye on him and remind him who he used to be, was scary. What would Xemnas do to him? Would Axel ever see him again? If he went after Roxas, he’d never see Saïx again. Axel knew this with finality, though he didn’t know why.

    The loneliness eating his heart grew tenfold. Axel hid his face between his knees, letting the tears soak his undershirt.

    _A false friendship, or a real one?_

    Saïx was wrong. Roxas was the real friendship. Axel had to choose him, he just _had_ to. Saïx was never… _could_ never be…

    Isa.

    Axel’s not-heart jabbed with pain.

    He had to leave him.

    Right?  

    The sudden swish of a darkness portal made Axel wonder if the golden eyes had given him the power to read minds.

    Axel wiped at his face again to clear the evidence of his pain, listening to the sounds of a coat being folded, then boots clicking on the white floors. A body sat beside his, arms brushing arms. Axel shivered at the feeling of cold skin against his. Saïx was made of ice in more than once sense of the phrase.

    “Roxas has run away.” Saïx reported, as though reciting their high school’s cheer.

    Bored.

    “This hurts you.” Voice quiet.

    Confused.

    “Why do you need him?”

    “He makes me feel like I have a heart.” Axel whispered against his pants, not yet willing to look at those horrid yellow irises.

    He missed blue.

    “I remember when I used to do the same.”

    Sad.

    Axel allowed his body to fall heavy against Saïx’s. His head rested on the other’s shoulder, but he kept his eyes closed. He wanted to pretend that Saïx was looking at him, rather than at that ugly moon, for as long as he could.

    “Isa, I miss you.” His voice shook, the memory of the friend he once had hurting like a fresh burn.

    “I miss you too, Lea.”

    Was that…worry?

    Axel held back a laugh—he really was mad.

    “But we must believe in Kingdom Hearts. Without it, we are lost.” Finally, Saïx’s head rested against Axel’s.

    “He’s lying to you.” Axel hissed.

    “What choice do I have?” Saïx bit back.

    “Run away with me.” He pleaded as he had every day for that first year, when irises were still blue and he could remember what Isa’s smile looked like.

    Saïx sighed, shaking his head ever so slightly. “Go find him. I’ll put you on a long term assignment.”

    Resigned.

    Axel swallowed the tears that threatened to return. Saïx was helping him, even though he was sure to know the consequences as well as Axel.

    This was the end of their fairytale.

    Opening his eyes, Axel twisted so that he hovered over Saïx, drawing those eyes from their prison. Axel couldn’t look for long, not wanting to see gold. He leaned in and kissed Saïx goodbye, pouring his pain, hope, and love into his…his…

    “I love you.” He whispered against lips he’d always have memorized.

    Then he stood and fetched his coat, hands trembling. With fear, excitement, pain—maybe getting a heart back wasn’t worth it, if it hurt so much.

    “Axel…” A final thought, a last blessing.

    Hurt.

    The portal opened, and Axel stepped through, not caring where it took him as long as he could get somewhere to clear his head.

    He still needed a plan.


End file.
